We Wish You A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year (Part One)

(Part One is a recap of Christmas, Part Two will detail New Year's and our hopes for 2012)

Other than the day(s) we brought them home from the hospital, Christmas was our happiest day with Clara and Wilson. And to paraphrase the Grinch, no one quite knows the reason. It could be the gifts, the trees, and the lights. It could be Clara and Wilson slept through the night. But we think that the most likely reason of all could have been that our kids are so big, we're not worried about them being so small.

Christmas is the occasion we've thought about constantly since finding out we were pregnant. Initially we thought we would have one three month old child - and the first grandchild - at Christmas. Those expectations were quickly ratcheted up when we learned we would be holding two three month old children around the Christmas tree. All along we thought having three month olds would be great because the kids would be sleeping better, engaging more with the world around them, and Chris would still be on maternity leave through the holidays. It seemed like the perfect plan.

As has been well-chronicled in this blog, that is not how things happened. When Chris' water broke unexpectedly on June 7th, Christmas was the last thing on our minds. For several months, Clara and Wilson fought to stay alive at Kosair Children's Hospital while we, for the most part, helplessly watched. We did what we could. Chris pumped every two hours to get the best possible nutrition into Clara's and Wilson's feeding tubes. We practically lived at Kosair and constantly quizzed the doctors and nurses on the treatments and prognoses for our children.

Throughout their stay in NICU, we also searched for ways to cope with our new reality. We relied heavily on our friends, family, church, and even the grief counselors at Kosair to get through the roughest stretches. But we also constructed some self-defense barriers to guard against the worst. We didn't know - and the doctors couldn't tell us - how Clara and Wilson would progress.

For whatever reason, the last remnants of our emotionally protective walls were torn down Christmas day. The worries, fears, and emotional (not to mention physical) exhaustion evaporated as we finally felt like we made it. It was Christmas Day and there we were with two beautiful, babbling, smiling babies. Instead of jumping for joy, we turned into blubbering idiots. No really, if you spent the day with us you would have seen more tears in the span of a few hours than you would during an entire season of Oprah. We started crying in the car on the way to Morgans' parents' house, cried when watching Clara and Wilson open presents, cried during the blessing before Christmas dinner, and cried before going to bed. Chris has gone from being "steel" to being "Steel Magnolias." They were all tears of joy, but we still looked ridiculous. 

At least we weren't the only ones who looked ridiculous. Chris bought, made, and received Christmas outfits for Clara and Wilson. Rather than pick her favorite, Chris decided to dress the kids in most of them. Between Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, Clara and Wilson went through more wardrobe changes than Lady GaGa. Below is a sampling of what their first Christmas looked like:

It was fairly early on Christmas Eve, but our little Santa Wilson was already getting tired.

Uncle Gabe and Aunt Mary Helen give Clara and Wilson presents Christmas morning.
(Yes, Wilson went from a Santa suit to those Christmas pajamas. He will hate these pictures)

Aunt Mary Helen lets Clara model her new stylish sweater dress!

Uncle Zac and Aunt Sara hold the kids while Wilson shows off his rockin' Christmas socks.

It was awesome to have kids this year at Christmas. Watching them, our hearts grew three sizes that day.

Big Mac held the phone on speaker while we all talked to Captain Uncle Dave in Afghanistan.

The third outfit of the day and Wilson was still smiling.

The next morning, everyone was exhausted.

The Christmas we imagined a year ago happened. And as the Grinch would say, it came without packages, boxes, or bags. Because for this wonderful first Christmas, we had our family healthy and together at home. Clara and Wilson still have a long row to hoe, but we believe these Christmas miracles will be waddling around knocking ornaments off the tree this time next year. And for us, truly, Christmas Day will always be just as long as we have we. Welcome Christmas while we stand, heart to heart, and hand in hand.

(Part Two will be appearing soon, including a special Happy Birthday wish to Uncle Dave  . . . even though his birthday is today)